


Please Don't Go

by Viktaruuu112



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Crying, Crying During Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, First Time, Gay Sex, Kissing, Loneliness, M/M, Neck Kissing, Sex, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:27:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viktaruuu112/pseuds/Viktaruuu112
Summary: The bedsheets were crisp and impersonal around Victor’s shoulders. His head sank into the feather crater of the pillow under him. His eyes studied the ceiling.Yuri was gone. He’d left hours ago after giving Victor something he didn’t want. A gift he could not receive with a happy heart. A gift he couldn’t receive with his heart at all.Yuri gave him his life back. Everything he’d left behind when he packed his bags and flew to Japan those months ago. All the things he’d forgotten. Yuri let him go.“Let’s end this.”





	Please Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to Please Don't Go by Barcelona on repeat the entire time I wrote this.

The room where Victor lay was still and breathtakingly silent. If there had been a clock on the wall, it would be loud, audibly stretching the space between Yuri and himself. Filling the room with the inevitable, sadness-inducing tumble of time.

The bedsheets were crisp and impersonal around Victor’s shoulders. His head sank into the feather crater of the pillow under him. His eyes studied the ceiling. 

Yuri was gone. He’d left hours ago after giving Victor something he didn’t want. A gift he could not receive with a happy heart. A gift he couldn’t receive with his heart at all.

Yuri gave him his life back. Everything he’d left behind when he packed his bags and flew to Japan those months ago. All the things he’d forgotten. Yuri let him go.

“Let’s end this.”

It repeated itself in his head without his permission and drove him quickly into the places of his mind that he’d been able to shut of since falling in love with Yuri. He could call it that now. Now that he had a clear view of the way things were, and the way they shouldn’t be. Victor crept into the grey places of sadness and loneliness in his mind and laid in the colorless void of what he lacked.

He’d done enough of it already as soon as the words had left Yuri’s lips, but still, he cried. He cried until he bored himself of crying, and then he cried unwillingly. The tears a warm caress over the curve of his cheekbones, and pooled into the set of his eyes before rushing downward. He let the tears fall until they didn’t.

He stared at the ceiling and felt the ache of loneliness.

Yuri was gone. To where he didn’t know. He left hours ago after Victor lost his temper in that emotional display. But what was to be expected? 

Earlier, he’d showered with his head down, slipped on a pair of short, stretchy boxers, the comfy kind, and slid stiffly into the hotel bed.

 

The feeling… the memory of utter happiness and contentment quickly evaporated from him. The absence of Yuri was absolutely gutting him.

But he was also damaged in his own way. Yuri’s words of eminent separation were draining the color from his mind. Everything was grey. 

He knew he wouldn’t sleep, but the comfort of the bed was there still. Even if it was faint.  
The bulkiness of the golden ring on his finger mocked him as it sat heavy on his hand. Was it always so heavy? The weight was pressing.

It must have been hours of fading in and out of consciousness before he woke to the sound of a keycard entering the slot on their hotel door. As the door clicked open, Victor’s eyes opened lazily and landed again on the ceiling where they’d spent most of their night. 

In his peripheral, Yuri slipped off his shoes quietly, probably assuming Victor was asleep, and pulled his jacket from his arms. He then went into the bathroom and almost silently clicked the door shut.

To Victor’s heart of glass, it felt like an overwhelming physical manifestation of Yuri in practice. Shutting the door between them, leaving Victor alone in a room where he thought he’d be better off alone. Untouched, unbothered, undamaged. 

But Yuri was gravely mistaken. 

It was all Victor had to keep from pulling himself from the confines of accumulated body heat under the covers and running to the bathroom to bang his fists against the hard, cold door and beg for Yuri to understand that he was slowly dying.

The years of loneliness he spent were not in vain. He won almost as much as he skated. To others, he was on top of the world. Rich, famous, handsome. He had it all.

But the world was gravely mistaken.

He’d given the future of his own career up, his home, his friends, his coach, he left everything to be with Yuri. His life had real, fulfilling purpose for the first time in his life and now, there was also love. 

He never knew it was possible to feel this torn up over someone. A broken sign left his lips quietly as he held back any more tears that threatened to fall.

The sounds of rushing water from the bathroom comforted him. He could imagine Yuri’s hands under the water rubbing together and cupping under the stream to rinse his face as he often did. An unexpected smile tugged at the corner of his lips and left just as quickly as it arrived.  
Would he have to say goodbye to Yuri forever? Would he have to say goodbye to everything about him? Every single little thing that made him smile.

It wasn’t fair.

Yuri carefully twisted the handle knob on the door and tiptoed out of the bathroom before approaching the other bed and slowly slipped the covers from the edge. Yuri hadn’t used the second bed since staying in this room, and the feeling of separation was so much stronger.

“Yuri,” Victor spoke softly.

Yuri froze and searched for his eyes in near darkness. It took a moment for his eyes to focus, but when they did, Victor could see Yuri was hurting too. The feeling was simultaneously the worst and most satisfying feeling. 

“Yuri,” his voice shook as he turned toward him, “Please,” Victor pulled the covers up, inviting Yuri onto the mattress next to him, “Come here.”

Yuri all but ran to his side. He slipped into the bed quickly and buried his head in Victor’s chest. 

Victor’s heart throbbed as his arms encircled Yuri and pulled the covers over them.

“My Yuri…” 

“Victor,” Yuri’s voice cracked. He nuzzled into Victor’s neck.

The proximity was healing and enticing. Yuri rarely showed affection or let his guard down to this extent. The chill from Yuri’s legs and feet wrapped around and entwined in his legs.

They lay pressed together for the longest time. The moments stretched into forever and the pounding of his heart was sure to be felt, but Victor didn’t care. He was surrounded and entwined in Yuri.

Victor pressed his cheek heavily into Yuri’s temple.

“My Yuri… please don’t leave me.”

The silence rang in his ears.

“What am I going to do without you?”

Yuri sniffed. Victor felt wet droplets trailing down his shoulder. He rubbed Yuri’s back in slow circles. He let his hand find its way under Yuri’s shirt and let his nails graze the skin.

“You’ll go back to doing what you did before you met me. You’ll have everything you used to have… everything I’m keeping you from.”

“Yuri, I had nothing before you-”

“You had everything.”

Victor ignores him, “And I’ll have nothing after you. Nothing can compare to how I feel when I’m with you. When we’re skating together or eating together. When we walk together and laugh or talk about anything-”

Yuri pulled himself from Victor’s grasp and met his eyes.

“You had everything, Victor. You can have everything back, your career, your home, your success. You can have it all back!”

“Nothing compares!” 

And Victor did something he hadn’t done since China. Something he’d dreamed of a million times over, daydreamed about half the time he was awake… and every time he saw Yuri’s face.

Victor held Yuri by the back of his head and pressed their lips together.

Yuri froze before he melted against Victor. Victor pressed softly against Yuri’s lips once more before separating and meeting Yuri’s eyes with fiery purpose.

“Do you understand?” Victor spoke softly and ran his thumb over the line of Yuri’s jaw before finding Yuri’s bottom lip under the pad of his thumb. “Nothing can compare.” Victor let his lips press slowly against Yuri’s mouth. “It’s you that I want. And whatever that means for my career or my life or anything, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. You’ve shown me feelings I didn’t know I was capable of. A joy for life… the feeling of Love…” Yuri’s brows pull together in sadness. “I never knew those feelings before you showed them to me.”

Yuri leaned his forehead on Victor’s and moved to straddle him.

Victor spoke again, “You are what I want… If you’ll have me. And if you want me just as a friend or a coach I’ll understand. Truly, I will. But Yuri… Please don’t leave me.”

Victor felt the heat of Yuri’s tears falling and hitting his cheeks before sliding down his chin, mimicking the pattern of the tears that fell from his own eyes hours before.

After a while, Yuri shifted off of Victor’s lap and settled beside him. He let Victor’s arm encircle him before he pressed his leg in between Victor’s and leaned his head on Victor’s shoulder.

“Victor…”

Victor let the sound of his own name echo in his mind. Yuri’s voice made it the sweetest sound.

“Yes, my Yuri?”

Victor continued scraping his nails over Yuri’s back and felt the arc of his spine when Yuri leaned up and captured Victor’s lips with his own.

Victor held back a sigh of relief and replaced it with a quiet moan.

Yuri began to slowly, purposefully devour him. Their lips pressed repeatedly against each other and soon they found a rhythm of sealing their lips together. The warmth of Yuri’s breath hitting his cheeks was sending chills to the back of his neck. He groaned when Yuri slowed and parted Victor’s lips with the tip of his tongue. Victor reciprocated hungrily, tasting Yuri’s tongue and the inside of his mouth. The sound of Yuri’s breath mirrored his own and soon they were panting. But they did not rest. 

They moved against each other's mouths in ways that Victor had only dreamed about. Yuri’s fingers found their way to the back of Victor’s neck and scratched nails up and into his hairline. Victor was shivering with the sensation and accidentally whined against Yuri.

Yuri parted to whisper against his lips, “Victor…”

“Yes, my love?” his voice was quiet.

Yuri pressed heavily against Victor’s body and rolled his hardness into Victor. He shivered.

“Victor… please.”

Victor turned his body so they perfectly faced each other. He let his hand meander into uncharted territory and gripped the flesh of Yuri’s ass to press Yuri into him harder. His cock, full and uncomfortable, found temporary satisfaction in the friction that Yuri’s body provided him. 

Air left him in a heavy breath and Yuri moaned against him.

Victor rutted into him again and got high off of the sounds that Yuri was giving him. Satisfied, short breaths onto the skin of his shoulder. And there was where Yuri kissed him and latched on, sucking a mark into the paleness of his skin. He let off and moved up Victor’s neck, pressing his lips to the interesting places.

His other hand slid up Yuri’s back pulling his shirt up with it. Victor rutted into him once more before separating and pulling the shirt off Yuri’s back.

“Victor,” Yuri begged his name.

He took the hint and let his hand slip under Yuri’s sweatpants, tugging them down by the elastic and let Yuri kick them off.

Yuri climbed on top of him and pressed Victor’s back into the mattress. He let their lips find each other again and teased the edge of Victor’s boxers.

“Yuri.”

Victor’s boxers ever so slowly slipped down over his hips thanks to Yuri’s teasing fingers. His cock sprang free and found warmth in Yuri’s hand.

Air left his lungs with an embarrassingly needy sound and he struggled to keep himself still as Yuri stroked him. It was beautiful torture the way Yuri’s hand glided perfectly over his cock, collecting precum from the leaking tip and slid an open fist over him until he was writhing.

The image was made complete by the sight of Yuri pulling his own cock free and collecting them both in hand.

“Yuri! Yuri… god, yes.”

Yuri thrust slowly into his hand, letting his cock slide against Victor’s.

He was so beautiful. The image was as heartbreaking as it was enthralling. Victor reached up and pulled Yuri down to capture his lips.

“Ah… Victor?” Yuri stopped.

“Yes, love?”

He panted, “I want more.”

“What do you need from me?”

“Victor... I don’t… I’ve never…” their foreheads rested together.

After a moment, Victor asked, “Would you like to?” understanding what he meant but lacked the confidence to say.

Yuri nodded.

A sweet smile grew on Victor’s face as he looked up to his lover’s face.

“What would you prefer?”

Yuri didn’t answer.

Victor’s hand caressed his hips. “Would you like to be inside me?” Victor kissed his jaw.

Yuri nodded and smiled nervously.

“In my bag… the zipper pocket on the inside. To the left. Would you mind grabbing what’s inside of there for me?”

Yuri’s eyes widened and he smiled wide before kissing Victor one last time and left to search Victor’s bag. He pulled out a small bottle of lube and a few condoms.

He laughed quietly, “Were you planning this?”

Victor leaned up and shrugged, “You can never be too prepared.”

Yuri tossed the items on the bed before pulling his boxers off completely.

Victor groaned. “Yuri… would you mind... twirling?”

Yuri blushed and turned slowly around until he met Victor’s eye again, wondering if his slow twirl satisfied Victor’s request.

“How are you so perfect?”

Victor held his hand out to invite Yuri back on top of him. 

Yuri pressed Victor’s back into the sheets with full hands on his shoulders and captured his lips again.

The click of the lube bottle made Victor open his eyes.

“Do you want… me to…?”

“Yuri, I would love nothing more.”

Yuri smiled and sat back on his heels. He let the lube coat his fingers. Victor took the moment to slip his boxers off and tossed them to the floor. He let his feet sit flat on the bed, knees bent, and pulled apart.

Yuri’s eyes glazed as he looked at Victor displayed for him. His cock jumped.

“Yuri… I’m ready for you, my dear.”

Yuri nodded before caressing the inside of Victor’s thigh and let a finger swirl around Victor’s hole.

A breath of anticipation left Victor’s lips and he relaxed as Yuri’s finger pressed into him.

It was a dream the way Yuri’s finger almost expertly found his prostate and cared for it with the pad of his finger. He let Victor moan and writhe before adding a second finger.

Victor knew it would be an easy stretch because he often enjoyed anal masturbation. But his fantasies had never been as explicitly satisfying as the feeling of Yuri scissoring his fingers open inside of him.

His cock leaked.

“Yuri. I’m ready. It’s enough.” He begged.

Yuri let his fingers tease Victor’s prostate a moment longer before he reached for the condom. It was easier to see in the near darkness now that their eyes had fully adjusted, and Yuri had no problem finding the condom and ripping it open. Though it was then that Yuri lost confidence and looked to Victor for help. 

“Here, I’ll help you.”

Victor grabbed the packet and removed it from the package. Yuri’s cock hardened further in his hand as he stroked him to fullness. He kissed Yuri’s plump lips once before rolling the condom onto him. He applied more lube and stroked him until he was coated and laid back down against the pillows.

Victor’s voice was soft, “Whenever you’re ready, my love”

Yuri let his forehead hit the top of Victor’s knee and he took a deep breath. He lined himself up and slowly pressed in.

“Oh… Oh, fuck... God, Yuri.”

“Are you hurt?” Yuri’s voice was shocked in fear.

“No, absolutely not. Yuri, god,” he laughed in utter giddiness and exasperation, “you feel perfect.”

Yuri pulled back and let himself sink back in.

Somehow, Victor was so close to losing it already. The ripple of arousal and anticipation over his skin and pulsing through his veins heightened every bit of Yuri's touch. When Yuri actually began to move and slowly find a rhythm, Victor had enough mind to wrap his legs around Yuri’s back and pull his head down so he could taste the ecstasy of Yuri’s lips while he thrust into his body. 

The change in angle made Yuri's cock perfectly caress Victor’s prostate and his cock rubbed and touched against Yuri’s abdomen. He should have realized soon enough to warm him, but he had no time. It wasn't long before he was cumming hard between them, wetting their chests with his cum and painting the air with moans.

“V-Victor?”

He was lost to sensation.

“You came already?”

“Yuri…” he panted and let the overstimulation of Yuri’s sliding cock blind him.

Yuri continued thrusting and found Victor’s lazy lips. The afterglow numbed his nerves, and Yuri took to his neck instead. He kissed and sucked and bit at his skin and moaned in his ear. 

“Victor… you feel so good… so good.”

“Yuri… fuck me…”

“Victor… Victor,” Yuri chanted his name and chased pleasure inside of him.

It was bliss and sadness and hope and heartbreak and love and it was crushing him.

Yuri’s lips painted a pattern of kisses on his neck and shoulder. He touched them to Victor's cheek and the side of his mouth. Victor found himself fading from the high and kissed him back, finally in control of himself again. His fingers slid into Yuri's hair as he chased his mouth. Yuri's bottom lip tasted warm and perfect in his mouth. He tasted it with the tip of his tongue and gave it a soft bite before letting it go and returning his tongue once more to the inside of Yuri's mouth. Yuri's breath warmed him and chills rose to the back of his neck. 

Victor could feel the tears on his cheeks and the wetness dripping from his chin. And the way Yuri was holding him felt like he was saying goodbye. 

Soon he felt the stutter of Yuri's hips, the purposeful last few thrusts as he edged himself closer, his forehead touching to Victors, and came forcefully. He lost the last bit of strength left in his limbs and rested heavy on top of Victor with a muted moan.

Victor's hands held him close and ran up into his hair, playing with the long pieces behind his ear.

His voice ached in his throat, “Yuri… please don’t let this be goodbye.”

Yuri nuzzled into his neck and held him tight before leaning up and kissing the tears from his cheeks. 

“Victor… I-”

Victor pressed their lips together. “Don’t say it…”

Yuri bit his lip and slowly pulled out of Victor. He disposed of the condom and slid back into Victor’s arms.

Their breath settled and their hands slowly caressed each other. Yuri tracked his hand through a trail of Victor’s cum and found a few tissues from the box beside their bed to clean him off with.

He lightly pushed stray strands of hair from Yuri's eyes and let his thumb trace the side of his face. “Show me tomorrow… with your skating. What you were going to say.”

Yuri’s answer was pressing his face into his Victor’s neck again and the gesture made him smile. It seemed this was Yuri’s favorite spot. And Victor welcomed it.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseRoyaly/)   
> 


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